Brazil is a vast country of great extremes of everything: wealth/poverty, climate, scenic beauty, geography, ethnic variety, kindness and callous violence.

There are several critical facts the visitor needs to be aware of when contemplating a trip to Brazil. We assume that you are not incredibly rich and that you probably don't speak Portuguese.

Getting there:

Varig: are hopelessly disorganized - don't expect them to know at the check-in desk about any prior travel arrangements. They definitely won't, so there is no point in getting agitated. The staff are pretty nice and will do their best from within a completely ineffective bureaucracy. It will probably be carnival back in Brazil, and the home office won't be manned for three days - slap down the Amex card and hope!

AirFrance: Are the pits - they will probably lose your baggage - so try to keep something to change into in your carry-on. If you are disabled they will probably lose your wheelchair.  If you are lucky the baggage may get to your hotel before you leave for home. Don't expect anyone to ring the hotel to tell you what is going on with your baggage - they won't. Hit the beach, have a drink, enjoy the sun and tell yourself to relax..

! Street crime and violent burglaries are endemic. Resisting being mugged or robbed will make matters worse as the attacker will probably get angry and he/she has faster street-honed combat reflexes than the normal tourist.

! Don't wear any jewellery, watches, expensive clothes or stand out in any way. Sandals, a T-shirt and jeans are obligatory. Use a `bum bag' for comb, tissues, petty cash etc. Bags have a tendency to vanish as soon as they are put down. Take some disposable cameras. Don't take anything which you would miss if stolen.

! It is positively dangerous for a foreign visitor to wander unescorted outside the hotel in any large city.

! The police are largely a waste of time so don't get into situations where they might be involved.

! Outside the airports and universities almost no-one speaks English.

! Forget about car rental and driving (particularly in large cities). Brazilian drivers take their life in their hands every day. They regard lane markings (where they exist) as a personal affront to their basic right to liberty. In most countries it is silly not to stop at a red light. In Brazil at night locals might well consider it the height of stupidity to wait at a red light when you can zoom through. The cities are rats nests of roads and you will certainly immediately get lost - already a dangerous situation. Cars and coaches are poorly maintained. Breakdowns are common. In a sudden torrential rainstorm the chances are high that you will discover the lights/wipers/demister don't work and the car/coach leaks like a sieve.

! You must be met at the airport or take an official taxi booked at a desk inside the airport at a prior agreed price (expect $50 US from Sao Paulo airport) to a safe hotel. Do not pick up taxis outside the airport. (Ditto city centre safe shopping malls).

! If a young soldier points a loaded M16, with the safety off, at you at a military check point, he is probably not going to shoot you! He may be checking to see if you fit the description of a wanted drug dealer. Be relaxed, friendly and submissive, make no hostile moves, and keep your hands empty and in clear view at all times!  Don't go fast for your wallet to get some ID. The move might be misinterpreted -  ask permission first (if only by careful gesture).

! The phone system does not work. (A rented satellite phone is a jewel beyond compare if you can get a good deal - but make sure, before you strike a deal,  that the system works in Brazil and insure it of course!)

This last fact has two important implications:

1. Outside certain middle class, large city, guarded shopping malls (presumably with special phone lines) you cannot expect to use credit cards, since authorization codes cannot be obtained readily.

Brazilian's don't use credit cards much. This means that when travelling around Brazil there are only three ways to pay for anything. (1) A Brazilian cheque book with a Brazilian cheque card. (2) Travellers cheques (in US dollars or reals). (3) Cash in reals. US dollars are not generally accepted outside airports (they used to be but now there are so many forgeries about), except as tips. Only travellers cheques are safe to carry in large amounts, but you will need cash - so you are in a double bind: visible, vulnerable and known to be carrying cash.

2. Travel arrangements are difficult to make with any confidence - this is enhanced by the Brazilian tendency to leave everything until the last minute.

This only increases the likelihood that you may find yourself in an unsafe situation.

The conclusion is that there are only two relatively safe ways to visit Brazil.

1. Take a package tour. Do exactly as your guide tells you. Do not move outside the hotel without a tour guide or a guide vouched for by the tour guide. Stay alert.

2. Have Brazilian friends who will take care of you for every moment. Note: `Friends' here means someone you know well and trust, not someone you met casually in-country. Be very careful in this regard: once you go off in-country with a Brazilian you are (A) virtually helpless by yourself, and (B) dependent on your protector to keep you out of trouble. You are literally placing your life in their hands - so make sure they are worthy of such trust. Stay alert.

Brazilians are a wonderful and warm people and Brazil is quite literally a wonderful country. Brazilian friends will probably be middle class and relatively poor by European or North American standards. E.g. A Brazilian university lecturer earns about the same as a UK library assistant, but the cost of living in Brazil is very high. Apart from gas, fruit, vegetables, cigarettes, semiprecious stones (careful - a popular scam) and booze, anything else costs twice as much as Europe or North America. (Incidentally, the exquisite variety of fruit is a special bonus of travelling in Brazil - you could eat a different new fruit every day of the year. Also the savoury pastries are pretty good too.)

Brazilians classify problems into two types:

1. Acts of God, the International Cartels, Corruption, Bureaucratic Inefficiency, etc. about which one can do nothing.

2. Problems which affect their local community e.g. water supply, pollution, schools etc. to which the Brazilian response is to form a committee ...but... being Brazilian there is a committee of the left and a committee of the right.

Brazilians have an easy going attitude to everything. This is illustrated by the taxi driver who had stopped to have a conversation with another driver on Rio-Harbour bridge. A passing motorist pointed out that the taxi was on fire. Loath to interrupt his conversation the taxi driver just shrugged and said "let it burn".

It goes without saying that, since nobody can wear a watch without having it stolen, the Brazilian attitude towards time is equally casual. (It is one of the great unsolved mysteries of all time what happens to watches in Brazil. No-one can wear them because they are always stolen - where do they go?)

If you think the M25 or the Lincoln Tunnel are bad - in Sao Paulo when the river floods it has been known for the road from the airport to downtown to have 18 hour traffic jams! (People live on top of their cars, because to leave the car means saying goodbye to it permanently.)

Getting home: As you leave from the airport you may have some time on your hands and think to use up the last of your reals buying some touristy type presents (you certainly won't get your bank to change them when you get home). Now here is an amazing thing - THE PLAN WON'T WORK! They don't accept their own Brazilian currency at the Airport shops - isn't that amazing? It won't matter how much you argue (all debts public and private etc.) they will only take hard currency. So get rid of all your Brazilian money before stepping into the airport.

Disabled travellers

! Outside the airports and large city major hotels there are no disabled toilets and no special arrangements for the disabled. Ordinary toilet doors are invariably too narrow for a wheelchair.

It is close to impossible for even a very tough and flexible disabled person to travel without an able bodied companion in Brazil. Brazilian houses are often on hills and accessed by steep paths or flights of steps. Baths are rare. Running hot water is a luxury. Watch out for `killer showers' - the ones that heat water using electricity via a unit in the shower head and occasionally short out. Under no circumstances drink, or clean your teeth in, the tap water. Mattresses are usually hard. Washing machines are rare, dryers are non-existent. In high humidity it is hard to get sheets dry by hanging them up. The Amazon basin is even worse - e.g. maleria. Whether disabled or not you need to research extensively if planning an expedition to this region.

In the Orchid House at Rio

Copacabana Beach (Chill!)